Can i not drive my cunt home
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
