At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
