I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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