tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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