how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
nutella sex= disaster
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
