Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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