I wish I could teleport
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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