hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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