Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
