it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
they call him Oral-B. enough said
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
