butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize