please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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