Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
