If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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