Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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