Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
