I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
