I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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