i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I had to cum in my sink.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
