So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
