I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
