Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
