it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
