Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
