this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
