I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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