Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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