he wants to bone in the snuggie
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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