someone owes me an orgasm
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
do herpes really smell.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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