Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
