Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
