Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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