I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize