i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
