I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
