She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
