She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
