Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
