i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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