that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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