I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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