Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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