is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Also, beer. Big fan.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
