remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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