Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
