HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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