Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize