This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
