I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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