Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Found the puke drawer
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Text me some of your sweat
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
