brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
