I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
