i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
