I cockslap morals
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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