During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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