i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
