Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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