Got a toothbrush?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this just has baby written all over it
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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