This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Randomize
