she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
