Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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