how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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